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The Bitter Singles Club

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Still Here [10 Jan 2014|10:39pm]

My metre is at 3 years now.

vent your spleen

Me... [05 Sep 2009|01:40am]

[ mood | contemplative ]

...right here, right now.

2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

RL is full of couples [20 Mar 2009|08:05pm]

I freakin' HATE IT.

Also, the noise of them kissing in my workroom is gross.

I has Teh Bitter Single Rage going tonight...
2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Every now and then it hits you [17 Jun 2008|11:23pm]

He's single because he's fine with that, or he's feeling good to be spending time with himself, or whatever. [/person I fancy, maybe]

As it happens, I don't regret dumpng my ex. He is still the most awesome gentleman I eveer met, but not as a boyfriend. I don't regret going out with him because it deepened our relationship, but our needs from love are too different. [/My one and only real ex (not the same dude).]

How is it that people still say: 'Oh, females don't stay single in our circles long'... but I do? I'm aware that despite the theorectic reasonableness of my features, I'm never going to be Teh Hot. It sounds good: long blonde hair, slender build, but hour glass figure... yeah, good on paper, but not so much in person. Even setting aside my tendencies to grin like a manic goblin, unconventionalness is supposed to be less of problem thang for geeks like us...

It's kinda depressing that most people are put off by my interests and appearance, and the rest are put off by my beliefs. That's all I can think. I mean, it'd be nice if people liked my appearance, but if they didn't give two hoots about me as a person it wouldn't mean anything. And now I'm drunk and thinking too much on my singleness.

25 years is coming up (please, for kittens' sake, don't anyone try to tell me 'It's nothing to be ashamed of', or 'It's good that I'm saving myself' - I'm neither ashamed nor saving myself: I discovered my libido four and a half years ago and I haven't had any calls since!). I think it's fine not to want sex. For a long time I knew I wasn't ready for it and wasn't ashamed. But I dealt with that shit (thanks V-Day) and since I discovered I wanted the boys... they haven't wanted me.

I'm not expecting an answer, I'm just fed up.

The only bloke I've fancied this year is probably leaving the area soon, and he's been so maybe-he-is-maybe-me-isn't that even my patience has worn thin.

O just want it easer, you know. Like how everyone else seems to get it.

Raise a glass with me singletons...
1 hopeless habitual loner| vent your spleen

Bloody Spring [12 May 2008|05:33pm]

[ mood | horny ]


7 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

The noise of couples kissing [24 Feb 2008|03:27pm]

I cannot stand the noise of couples kissing. I think it's a pretty gross sound anyway, but there's something about it that just cuts into my thoughts and reminds me how single I am.

Last Thursday, I had my last session with my cognitive behavioural therapist (last because that's the limit of the number of sessions you're allowed on the NHS, not because I was all better). He said what I really need is someone to depend on, to fight my corner, to love me how I am, and to recognise the good parts of me. In other words: a boyfriend.

'Cause, you know, I hadn't figured that one out for myself. I'll just pop down the boyfriend shop, then...

4 years and counting. Still a virgin at 24.

Yeah, I'm having a bitter day.
8 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Yuck [16 Dec 2007|09:36am]

[ mood | cynical ]

So I recently moved back to England.. And I've noticed every where you go you will see couples kissing and feeling each other up, on the street, in the pub, even next to the fucking phone booth. I don't know, in Canada we invented rooms. Here, they don't even know about the concept.

I think the national anthem for Britain is Public Displays of Affection. *shudders*

1 hopeless habitual loner| vent your spleen

Back To The Same Situation Where We Are Only Friends [25 Nov 2007|02:45pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Here I am again back in the same position I just left behind. I just recently moved back to England, to start a new life... And again I fell for someone. I tend to always fall for emotionally unavailable men. I was dating someone shortly back in Vancouver and he didn't want to be exclusive. After he blew me off and made it clear he wasn't comfortable with how serious we were getting, he ran away.

Well here in England I fell for another man who doesn't want a relationship. Do I want to invest myself when later on down the road (again) he will just run away? I'm so frustrated with this fucking situation and my relationship history.

Again and again will I fall for someone just find out they won't meet me half way? I'm alone in England with only a few friends, so being stuck in this situation makes me extremely bitter.

3 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Ahhhh Relationships [30 Sep 2007|05:32pm]

Why should I give relationship advice? It's not like I'm an expert and most cases I can't tell the difference from a relationship from my ass. I have friends that want my opinion, but now come to think of it, I don't even take my own advice.
And in reality, no one is an "expert". No one can say they know relationships through and through, inside out, because every relationship is different and every human being is different too. Most people who think they have found their perfect mate end up in divorces.. These are usually the same people who wrote a book about marriages, kids, relationships, dating etc for people like me that feel clueless, buy them up and end up more fucked up from useless advice. Well not useless; irrelevant.

I guess as we get older and have more experiences, makes us better whores. My father for example, is on a date right now with a new match he met online. He could give me sooo much advice on how to find the right guy or which one to pick off matchmaker.com/plentyoffish.com/lavalife.com but I'd still find some asshole I don't connect with. Hmmm, what to do?

I suppose I lost my faith in relationships or the little amount I had. My parents are divorced, so I was not exactly raised in a good relationship/marriage. All the same, majority of us crave companionship.. Maybe that's why everyone wants and wishes to be popular. But what can popularity merit? I'm a loner at heart and even when I'm surrounded by a group of people I feel initially alone.

I'm pretty happy being single right now. And I'm pretty happy being unpopular. I guess I'm just a bitch, haha. Oh well, life will throw more lessons my way and my views in the next few years might change. But before that happens, I think relationships are the suck. And yes, I said they are "the suck."
2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Another Day Another Time [22 Sep 2007|07:13pm]

[ mood | crazy ]

I'm such a fucking idiot sometimes. The reason why I say this is because I was so much more happier being single and care free, instead of investing four months of my time with someone who won't meet me half way. It is true what some people say, "only stupid people have good relationships."

Because before I invested myself emotionally, I was happy, sane and enjoying life. Now I'm feeling neurotic and full of self doubt. Yeah sure, I tend to have a low self esteem now and again, but the moment they become distant and I hear "there is something I would like to talk to you about" puts a damper on things.

Why do people get involved in such unpredictable and expiring situations? I'm looking back and I see all the signs that I should have avoided. In reality what are the points of relationships anyway besides divorce and procreation?
Honesty, I feel as if I put myself in such turmoil that I could have avoided at all costs instead of being taken for granted.

Such is life, ain't it??

1 hopeless habitual loner| vent your spleen

[31 Jul 2007|08:50pm]

The human brain truly is a weird thing.

I have only managed two relationships worthy of the name in my life. I am out of touch with both exes. One of them bizarrely friended me on Facebook recently. Mentioning this to a friend in an email triggered the next logical way to distract myself from what I should be doing (updating my CV to try to make my work life suck a bit less than my love life). Found the other ex via Myspace and found that I remembered his age and his star sign wrong. Then again he could have lied to me at the time or got it wrong himself.

Both of them are doing really well, according to rumour and what little I can gather from the Web. I have had no actual communication with either, even the Facebook one. I suppose I should be glad that the guys I went out with weren't total losers and I managed to fool them for a while that I wasn't one either. Can't fool most people though, least of all myself.
2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Metrosexuals [27 Jul 2007|02:01pm]

To the ladies in this community.. have you ever dated a guy more feminine than you?? Or had major feminine qualities??
3 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Typical [16 May 2007|03:37pm]

You know, I just got back from vacation and already I've been stood up and I haven't even been here a week!

So much for friends..
vent your spleen

[25 Apr 2007|09:22pm]

Name:my name is niomi. though not important. My girlfriend punched me. Right in the eye. In my right eye, so it seems. 5-6 times, good thing she broke up with me beforehand, now its just assault. theres a restraining order. And she's mad at me and I'm the one who was punched. She changed her number, even though I haven't called (well, called and spoken, because of the restraining order). I did everything for her. She just didn't get it at all, she'd be screaming and I'd be standing there crying just wanting to crawl into bed and cuddle. Which was what we were screaming about. Long story.
Bitterness count is around 4, i dont want her dead I just want justice and i wish this hadnt happened so we could have been together.
Special powers: manipulation, emulation of emotion, trust.
Weapon of choice: my mouth.
3 favourite drinks (I know it's hard to narrow it down..): 151, jamaican rum, and beer. whatevers on tap, because it hurts more going down.
Intended method of self destruction: endless hours of internet boob tv and enough pot to smoke out a elephant.

being single sucks. hence the bitterness.
1 hopeless habitual loner| vent your spleen

[14 Feb 2007|09:33am]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
1 hopeless habitual loner| vent your spleen

The Only Single [13 Feb 2007|11:08pm]

If I have one more friend tell me that they are engaged, I think I will have a heart attack from eating so much damn chocolate and mixing it with some hard liquor.
Fuck I hate Valentine's Day.
2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Avoid At All Costs [31 Jan 2007|12:37pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Grr don't you hate the awkwardness of a breakup, that you have to stop going to the places you love just so you don't bump into them? Well my friend is going through one of those break-ups and not only is it affecting her, its affecting me because that's the place we normally go together.

Sure, I could go there with a different friend, but I rather hang out with that friend and still be able to go DRAMA FREE.

2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Shut Up About Relationships, Geez! [24 Jan 2007|07:26pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Fuck, all of my friends either have new boyfriends or at least new dates. All I hear about is 'so and so', and how good they make them feel, he's oh so cute, and a "really nice guy". I'm so tired of listening to this bullshit.

I feel so undesirable too. I am not jealous that I am the only single girl out of my friends, again. And I'm not angry/jealous for having no dates..

Just fed up of hearing these pathetic little stories and watching them "needing" the person because of such abandonment issues they haven't dealt with.. They act like being single is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. As they become doormats and miserable in a dysfunctional relationship.

Is this all I have to look forward to come February when it's Valentine's day? Is this all we are ever going to talk about now, their stupid boyfriends in their overly clingy relationships? Seriously! I mean, who buys a guy a present after having one date? Basically saying, "hey why don't you fuck and chuck me now? Use me and rob me of any happiness and confidence I do have."

As I sit back and watch all of this happening, I can't help but want to run away. And I love my friends, I really do, I am always there for them but I absolutely HATE being the counselor. It might be a little more enticing if I was getting paid, but I don't want to listen to their future relationship/guy problems and hearing about what he did and who he's with.

If I had a guy buying my clothes after the first date, I would think he was a freak.

Just great.

4 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Weddings [16 Jan 2007|08:44am]

I have to give a reading at my brother's wedding in May. Obviously, this is an honour to do, but it's been such a bloody faff getting them to sort out what it is I actually have to read. Last night I was discussing this with my mother on the telephone, whilst my brother was talking about it on MSN, and my sister-in-law-to-be was sending me text messages about it! The main problem with many of the possible readings for a Civil Ceremony is that they are perfectly vomitous and twee. At the least they make one feel queasy.
One suggestion was that I try to come up with one, but I did point out that as I am one of the most cynical people about love that I know, I would probably not be the best person to choose a reading for a wedding. By the end of the various discussions I was ready to cry out "oh for God's sake, I don't bloody care. I'm going to die alone, perpetually nursing a broken heart, so what the fuck do I care about readings and marriage and love?" But I didn't.
2 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

Wrath on the highway [02 Jan 2007|11:13am]

[ mood | cynical ]

So I found myself driving down the highway the other day when I passed by a young couple with a child digging their car out of about two and a half feet of snow and hardened hightway slush.

A little background here.

I live in Denver, Colorado, and we recently got two major snowstorms. It has been cold, so not much of it has melted. The highways are fine, but, as a result there are still massive slush drifts along most major corridors.

Even though the storm hit a week ago, there are still cars stuck here and there. Some slid fifteen or twenty feet off the road into fields.

Thus was the fate of our new friends.

They were digging away, and nobody was stopping to help. They were with a small child, and near a fast moving highway. You calculate the possible outcomes here.

I could have stopped. I could have been a good samaritan and give them a hand. Who knows? It could have been contagious, and more friendly passers-by would have stopped too.

Never the less, I drove by.

Do you why I neglected to stop?

Because single people don't associate with couples, and vice versa. I know in the back of my mind that another young couple would be by in about two seconds, and than another one after that. Pretty soon, all the happy couples in Denver would have helped each other out of yet another jam.

I am probably going straight to hell for this, but shit, I might already be there.

So fuck them.

I am noticing that as I grow older, and my friends pair off, I am suddenly not at the top of the list to invite for gatherings. I am becomming the only single person in the group, and the phone is starting to ring less and less. My couple friends realize that since I am still single, there is something fundamentally wrong with me, so they are not even willing to try to help anymore.

So fuck them too.

Thank the fuck christ the holidays are over.

Patient Saint

12 hopeless habitual loners| vent your spleen

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